Yes
Like most stupid ideas it starts with wanting
a search with my mouth
through a snowdrift
for something firm
I want her like Napoleon wants chickens
like Neopolitan ice cream
one flavour at a time
and all at once
I want her like Elena Ferrante’s
popular Neopolitan novels
fiercely anonymous
claiming genius for women
like a sparkler held against the gas burner
to light the mosquito coil outside
white wine drunk
the bottom of my glass a star
bursting from my eye
I’m lukewarm water
and she’s the bottom of a bathtub
I’m binoculars
and she’s a view clear through
to the neighbours’ house
where some anonymous fuckboy
is lifting weights with the blinds open
I’m a bright spiral of biro
asking questions
and she always answers
a flick of the tail
//
I want him like certain wooden things I can’t name
dusting up my grandparent’s garage
hand-lathed and lain out on towels among the oil stains
where the car has been parked
I want him like
I want to disappear
to get a regular amount of sleep
and eat my greens
breathe deep from my lungs
the full amount, the whole iceberg
I want to disappear
home brew puttering in the corner
a small motored boat
hung in the roof
his hands down my pants
as waves thrash below
I can’t help but look over my shoulder
//
I want them like
of course
my dog’s eyelashes
the warm press of shoulders side by side
a piece of toast landing face up
or the feeling of finally replacing the vacuum bag
a parrot with the gams of an angel
kicks its high heels off for the crowd
why wouldn’t you want this?
I don’t understand the lines
we draw around love
a hand tracing a hand tracing a handjob
I watch a skywriter spell out ‘NO’
on its blue canvas
imagining the next word will be ‘YES’
do you like me?
circle one
About the author
Bridget Lutherborrow is a writer and editor currently living in Melbourne. She recently completed a PhD in creative writing at the University of Wollongong, for which she submitted a novel about Scottish lumberjills and a sentient signet ring. She is fiction editor for Scum Mag and tweets erratically at @birtiledge
